About
The Origin of this Web Address
My original website was located on my college’s web server and became surprisingly popular. I would occasionally receive emails from people whom I had never met telling me how much they like my “Random Thoughts.” There were two major reconstructions of the site during college, but the content generally stayed the same. I was lazy.
In January of 2003, my alma matter informed me that my account and server space was to expire at the conclusion of that month. After nights of crying into my pillow I decided to register my own website. But I knew the day would come and I had been planning to migrate my site to my own personal web address. Little did I know that the name of the site would be a source of extensive pondering and strange anxiety. It’s sort of like when I go to buy pants. There are a lot of things that need to be right about a pair of pants before I call them my own. For me pants need to be pleated, with a moderate size cuff, and a back pocket big enough to fit my wallet and still button. Although you might think that this type of leg garment is easy to find, shopping for pants usually becomes an all-day event. Shopping for a domain name proved to be equally challenging and a 5-month journey.
At first the choices were obvious – something like myname.com. This was available in mid-summer, but due to my usual procrastination and monetary constraints I missed my opportunity and that domain was taken. My next big idea was amish.com, playing on the novelty that the Amish people would never have a website. I felt that I was in the clear of any lawsuit because how would the Amish know? I figured that if they ended up finding the site then it would have meant they were using a computer and therefore going to hell because of their blasphemous use of a technological device – not a risk I thought an Amish farmer or an Amish lawyer would take. But much to my disappointment, amish.com was taken by some Bible-belt group that provides an internet gateway to web surfers looking for the theological guidance and directions to the Pennsylvania Dutch country. Why can’t they just pray and stay off the web? Damn them.
So five months went by where variations on my name and other boring ideas were thrown out. Many friends were getting tired of my constant questions and requests for their opinion on new proposed domain names. The sample site names were just not cutting it. I needed something witty, something that would be random, yet sensible. Funny, yet thoughtful. Cute, yet not gay. Politically aggressive, yet not anti-Semitic.
During one of my many discussions about the website with my friend, we’ll call him “Gandrew Ibbons,” he suggested “cupofjohn.com.” Now Gandrew is an unassuming character, somewhat of a cartoonish cross between Captain Caveman, Richie Rich, and Lionho from “Thundercats”. He has skills, but domain-name brainstorming is not one of them. If you wake up from a night of drunken escapades and realize you slept all night in a sticker-bush and need help getting out, you call Gandrew. If you need someone to straighten out a coat hanger, Gandrew’s your man. If you break your toe and you need someone to take a picture of your damaged toe for the insurance claim, you call Gandrew (he specializes in toe photography). However, if you need a website name, you call Gandrew to bring you some coffee and maybe some trail mix. Immediately I was impressed with his domain name recommendation. It was catchy, easy to remember, and oddly appropriate. Half a second after my appreciation for his suggestion, I found myself livid. Being the egomaniac that I am, I was pissed that the website name was not my original idea, and it hurts me to even admit this now. Nevertheless I had to keep the name, it was just too good. I registered cupofjohn.com the same day and plotted my revenge for Gandrew’s imposition on my comedic crusade for creativity. I weighed my options: leaking his secret about getting calf muscle implants to make his legs look bulkier, starting a grassroots group dedicated to moving the Minnesota Twins to New York where the team would be acquired by the New York Yankees and cease to exist, or just steer him to the wonderful world of alcohol. I elected the third option, which (luckily) was already in effect for over a year. It was a little preemptive revenge – the best type of revenge…and the best type of preemption. So he can have the credit for this web address, I will always have claims to his liver.
