Ode to Television

Ode to Television
Where would I be without you in my life?
Out and about or playing with a knife?
If I we’re to wander far, far away,
I would miss “The Simpsons” – on twice a day.

What would I be without you everyday?
Perhaps tan, in shape, and closer to gay (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
TV Guide is my bible, my torah, my Koran, my guide,
But you are the God where this guy puts his pride.

You put me to bed and awaken in the morn,
Supply partial nudity with soft-core porn. (USA Network Thank you)
24-hour sports, 24-hour news,
With a Richard Simmons infomercial- you just can’t lose.

Seinfeld , Simpsons, Captain Kangaroo,
Newradio, Friends, and ER too.
Frasier, The Odd Couple, Dawson’s Creek,
I once watched 90 hours in one week.

All my friends are now away,
College bound they are, but you shall stay.
Eventhough you are legless and without mind,
Your loyalty is far too kind.

So now I depart from this rigorous email,
I spent too much time sitting here on my tail.
Instead I am off with, my tail in full gear,
For that place which is never to near…
The kitchen…
Then I’ll go watch some TV.
I’m hungry.
Rhyme for yourself you lazy asses.