Verizon Wireless Guy

I really can’t stand that “Can you hear me now?” guy. What was Verizon thinking? What made them think that a stout trekky with thick framed glasses and a nasally voice walking around saying the same catch phrase (which isn’t even catchy) would sell more phone plans? He’s really just a human Energizer Bunny. I would buy a Verizon phone only if during one of the commercials this guy is standing in the middle of a deserted highway to check if some loser on the other side of phone can hear him and then suddenly a huge 18-wheeler Mack truck just plows right into him. Then one of two things happens – either the camera cuts to the truck driver who cleverly says, “Can you hear this?” and he proceeds to pull the chain for the bullhorn; or the commerical gets turned into an episode of Law & Order where Lenny Brisco and whoever his sidekick is at the time, find the Verizon guy. Then just as the coroner is taking him away Lenny slyly says, “Well, no one will be hearing him now.” Then cue the gavel sound. I love that gavel sound. Ideally I would like to live the rest of my life with a recording of that gavel sound that I could carry around with me and back up something I say with the gavel sound. It would be great when making fun of my brother. “Hey Pat, you’re an idiot!” Duh Duh (gavel sound). That would be awesome.